Gay Dogs

I have found a job for the nation of armed cats that surround us.

This morning, my friend Brian informed me of the plight of a dog in Tennessee...

Facebook Users Mount Campaign to Save 'Gay Dog' from Being Put Down by Tennessee Kill Shelterhttp://gawker.com/5980462/

My first reaction was to get the armed cats involved in the poor dogs rescue. But it looks like the little fella has already been rescued, which is great news.

I did wonder though what a gay dog would look like. So, I looked into it and I think I have some answers..

I think I am along the right lines.

Guns and Cats

 There has been a lot of debate here in the states about guns, and today there was quite a surreal article about Walmart and their ammunition sales.....

 (Reuters) - Walmart has started to limit sales of ammunition to three boxes per customer per day due to limited supplies, a spokeswoman said on Wednesday.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/01/30/us-usa-guns-walmart-ammunition-idUSBRE90T1ES20130130


I have no words other than. Mental. Only 3 boxes of Ammo per customer a day? What will we all do? I for one will buy more ice-cream and be done with it.


After reading this I popped onto the BBC website to see what they had for stories.  It seems Cats are total murderers. Yes, they are out there killing everything.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21236690


Now, what if its the cats that have been buying all the Ammo? Do Walmart realise its the cats?

I did some research on my friend google....

 This one is just plain fed up....

 

This one didnt bother even buying a gun....

 It seems the BBC is right.

The Wrong Dog

Sometimes it all goes a bit wrong after an afternoon and evening of cocktails.

My friends Rob and Adrian are marvelous hosts and looked after me all weekend. I was fed yummy food and handed many cocktails as the day went by.

They have two dogs.

One looks like this..

This is Eddie. At about 90lbs he thinks he is a lap dog and does smelly farts.

The other one looks like this..

This is Charles. He likes to patrol the perimeter of the house and garden for anything that moves, and is baffled at Eddies insistence of sitting on peoples laps.

They look quite different don't they?

Eddie likes to go to bed in his cage as it stops him shitting everywhere in the dark hours.
Charles likes to sleep guarding your doorway to save you from anything that moves.

I went to bed so it wasnt my fault.
Charles was the one accidentally put to bed in the cage.
We all awoke to a very free roaming Eddie, and piles of shit everywhere.

Marks version of events are as follows..

"Well I was the first one up and as I entered the room I was greeted by Eddie, and I thought.. ooh thats a bit strange. Who let him out?. Then I couldnt find Charles. I called out and realised he was in the cage.
I let him out. He was ever so grateful"


The Wrong Dog got put away and did time. Our doorways were unguarded.

I live here Pt.2

So, my next mission now that I am more settled here, is to actually get out on weekends and explore.

Today I did. I drove 25mins from my apartment to a little town on the ocean called Half Moon Bay. There was a lot of excitement as the town was gearing up for tomorrow's Surfing contest - The Mavericks Invitational. So I was very happy to see lots of half naked guys padding around smiling! And....it was a lovely 68degrees and bright blue sky.

I was hungry so headed for the very busy Sam's Chowder House, and got myself a table for one, ordered fish and chips and watched the waves.

I reminded myself........I live here. I should do this more often.

Sams Chowder House..

I live here.

Everyday I make a conscious effort to remind myself that 'I live here'.

Its usually as I drive to work on the 101. The sun is usually rising and its orange glow hits the top of the cars as we head south.
Its too easy in the long busy days at work to forget I am here. I made it. Getting bogged down in the day to day stuff, I could easily take it all for granted.

It was about 9 months all in all from deciding that I needed a change to it actually happening. It was hard work, and my friends kept me going through all the ups and downs that surrounded my need to change things.

I read my friend Jo's blog yesterday - 'Dear Ella' - and she wrote to Ella quoting Andy Warhol ..

“They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”
-Andy Warhol

 

 This is so very true. I did.

 

I live here.

Sunday, innit

And its off to Yoga for a 10.30 class. My new years routine slowly falling into place.

90mins of pure bliss with nice mantra's from our teacher. Early in the lesson she tells us to 'clear our monkey minds'. I of course instantly picture monkeys in my head rather than clear it. Its actually a good saying. She was referring the inner chattering we have in our heads even when we are resting. So, I make a conscious effort to stop this chimp like chattering in my head.

But,
there is a lady to my left. She has a big ole perm, and she breathes like a Velociraptor.   JESUS.

She reminded me

of one of these dogs..

but with brown hair.

At the end of the class our teacher quoted during our final relaxation " think of what has gone before, and what will come ahead, and remember its not as big and as amazing as whats inside".
For me, its mostly wind, but I'll go with it.

Time to think happy thoughts from my Yoga mornings mantra....And breathe...

 Peace, out.

Googling myself....

Such Fun. I googled Laura Pepper in 'images' and these are some of the pictures that came up....

 I'm not sure what to say really. I think my favourite is the weight lifting grannie. I hope its a vision of my future I am seeing in that one. Top left is maybe how I'd look if it was 1983 and I was 45.

What to search next?
Fun times.

Monkeys

Can Monkeys go to prison?

I was driving home with my friend Debbie, and we were talking about the people who train monkeys to climb in through peoples windows and burgle them. We couldnt remember where either of us had heard about it, or what country it was happening in. But, we did wonder if monkeys could get sent to prison.

I was still thinking about this when I got home so I googled 'monkey burglar'.......

This is what came up....

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2006-06/02/content_607519.htm


So then I googled images, but couldn't find any good ones, so here is the monkey that went shopping in Ikea in a coat.....

And here is one who doesnt like having his picture taken...

Cupboard

Just found myself staring into my almost tidy and organised cupboard wondering what I could cut up and put under my bed posts.
Its not what your thinking sadly.

I am trying ways of sound proofing.
Again, its not what you're thinking.

We have forced air heating systems in our apartments and they are quite loud. During the day no problem, but at night not so good. I luckily do not need mine on at night because I am normal and have duvet.
The guy below me however must have air for blood as he feels the cold alright, oh yeah all night long he needs his heating on. So I spend the night on top of what feels like a washing machine on a spin cycle.
Its not as pleasurable as the rumors make out!

So, I figured I'd try putting something under the bed post legs to try and muffle some of the humming. So there I am staring into the cupboard. I decided the Shammy cloth would get it. Scissors at the ready. Off I go for some minimal DIY action.

Not a very interesting post, I'm sorry.
Other thoughts that went through my mind whilst staring into the cupboard were:

I wonder if the hammer will fit in the other tool box.

I wonder if I should get some more pillow cases.

If I sniff the laundry detergent long enough, is it the same as getting drunk?

I wonder if I could sleep in here.


I wish this was my cupboard......

"Dont blame me....

BLAME MY PENIS" shouted the homeless crazy man as we walked past.

I wonder what it did?

I dont want to think about it!

After a busy Saturday, celebrating the engagement of 2 of my bestest friends Shaun and Andy with 2 of my other bestest friends Patty and Barb, onto an afternoon watching some English TV .....good old Corrie and Eastenders, then the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special with Shaun and I both declaring we should have one last glass of Baileys each before we hit the 2013 health kick, it was time for bed, and then a drive back home to Burlingame this morning.

I was driving home down the 101, when my ipod threw a song at me I was not prepared for. It was a song from an album that Ella had introduced me to about 5 years ago. It was her favourite song on the album, and we'd chat about the lyrics and how cool the band were.
It brought back lots of lovely memories of Ella. That summer we went to see the band at an outdoor festival on the docks in Bristol, and she rushed down the front as soon as the band came on, and it was so nice to see her dancing away with her friends in the sunshine.

So, today, its a nice ear-worm, even though its a tearful one to listen to....

Ella, this ones for you ....The King Blues 'what if punk rock never happened'......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUKxQnMhRJA

Inner Duke-Box

So, few people got the Muskahounds theme tune as my ear-worm yesterday, I thought I'd share my inner Duke-Box of today.
Its quite varied, and driving my office mate Camille completely mental. Thank god our office is made up of mostly booze.

In at No. 1:

In at No.2:

In at No.3:

 And finally No.4:

 

Its not even 4pm.

Ear-worms

I hate ear-worms.

Guess what mine was all afternoon?
and now its evening I am actually singing it in a kind of yappy-woof....

Here is a clue...

Now you have the ear-worm!!

spot the difference....

Can you spot the difference?

In the Chevron petrol station:

Me: Hi, Do you have any De-Icer?
Counter Attendant: No Sorry (Surrounded by Hersheys and Cheetos only. Nothing else of any help to a motorist)

In the Shell petrol station:

Me:  Hi, Do you have any De-Icer?
Counter Attendant: Er, what?
Me: De-icer - the spray for removing ice from your windscreen?
Counter Attendant: (points to Tampax) I have these, but no, no, I can only see these.


Its always good to have a back up I guess.


Sometimes its hard not to drink.

Test Drive?

Yes please pretty lady!..

Er, maybe not.

This is the garage around the corner from my apartment...

 An 'Olde English Garage' of all things! There is fuel .....

And, wait a minute, a pretty lady in the back of a sports car? The inner old lady in me instantly thinks 'she must be freezing' ....

Er.....

oh god.......its a drunk looking dummy.

Why does she have one bum cheek raised? Actually, why is she there at all?  Why am I even worried?
Too scared to go around the front and see her face through fear I'd never sleep again, I have come home to do laundry.